I Explore the Effects of the concepts of “good/bad”. 

I think most people strive “to be” “good”, want to treat their loved ones well

and live meaningful lives that contribute to the benefit of others. 

When I question if I am good or bad,

I find no clear determination of what actions I can take to clearly qualify myself as good. 

What I can do “to be” “good” changes and seems to remain elusive.

For instance, taking my friend, whose car broke down, to the grocery store I consider a “good” thing.

However, the same action turns “bad” if I do this instead of tending to my seriously ill child. 

Living in a constantly changing world of balancing priorities coupled with the restrictions

of “good/bad” leaves one in a constant state of anxiety about how “to be” “good.”  

As an example, I consider inflicting pain on another person as bad. However, if the pain inflicted

comes from resetting a bone, stitching a wound or some other healing act needed to realign the body,

then I consider the pain as beneficial and necessary for healing, and so turns it “good.” 

The currently spoken English dictates only these two options as possible, “good or bad”,

with no third option possible and no possibility that both can exist at the same time. 

In fact, life and humans remain way too complicated to get put into such restrictive boxes.

Since establishing a clear determination of myself as “good or bad ”remains elusive, and

yet the culture ongoingly places these judgments on me and other people,

I find myself fluctuating between thinking of myself as one or the other. 

These concepts also affect my self-worth.